Searching For Truth, Self, Creation, and Trying to Discriminate between Lies mixed with Truth. What I desire, Deserve..... Understandings.

The following is my opinion.  It is what I feel through my years of searching for the Truth of All and ourselves.   When I put: is, are and things as 'fact', those are my understandings of what is but may not be yours.

I feel the desire to express myself and what I understand at this time.

We are all on a journey during this lifetime.  We are here to grow, Love and Create to grow closer to God and our God selves.

I have this very strong desire to know Truth!  Not just Truth of what is really happening in the world but Truth of ourselves and who we ARE!

I wrote a long time ago about finding out the meaning of 'Apacolpyse' ,  in reality the meaning is wonderful.  It means the unveiling, the truth coming out, what is hidden is shown.   Those at the top (insanes) are the ones who made the word fearful to the public.  They used it as "the end of the world" meaning.  Yes, it would be the end of their world and control but it would be the liberation and freedom for the rest of us due to Truth being revealed.

In the years I have been searching for Truth and All that is, I have come across constant lies in books and information that is mixed in with Truth.   From my point of view, everything that is out there has first been gotten a hold of by the insanes and changed for them to maintain control.

Many will get upset when I say this, but it includes the Bible.  The bible has truths and untruths in it.  It was changed where we are not to look within but we had to always look outside of ourselves for God and we have to ask God for any good things to come into our lives.   God is vengeful and destructive etc.  Even when I was a kid reading the bible, it did not 'feel' right to me.

There was another bible, The Kolbrin bible that came to my attention the other day.  I read it completely yesterday.  I was hoping for Truth and that it was not changed by the insanes.   But what I felt (my own knowing) is it was corrupted by the insanes already.  This bible was suppose to have been hidden away and was in safe keeping for thousands of years.  I read it and found that the blame of the fall of man and why we are where we are, is because of women.   Women are the bad guys in this bible.  Then it has how it is okay to kill in war and so on.... Bullshit to all of that.   Yet again I was hoping to have found Truth and yet again I found lies.    But I did find from page 126 - there were truths (in my opinion) about God and what he says is and isn't.  I then understood why churches would not want this information out, because God says "Churches are not needed."  It is all within us and if there is any section that is good to read of that bible, it starts at page 126.

I have read hundreds of books, from new age to mainstream popular books.  I am in the middle of reading "The Tibetan living and dying book." right now.  I have read Christian, Buddhist, and many other different type religion books, in my search for the Truth.   I have gone to many churches (all various religions) but have not felt comfortable at any one of them.  To me they always talked about money and needing more money for this or that of the Church.    The part that I have stopped at of the Tibetan book right now is the section where it says "We are made to drink from the amnesia waters before coming back into a human body."  That section matches with a book that said we are prisoners and we go through amnesia treatments to keep us prisoners between lives.

I do want to rant about that part for a moment.  WHY do we have to go through Amnesia treatments between lives?  Other books say it is through 'Grace" we do so..... where we don't remember all the 'terrible' things we have done in past lives, so it doesn't hold us up in the current life.   Sorry, but I do believe that we would grow faster if we could remember the bad things we have done previously.  We would learn better to not make those mistakes again.   We would also remember the Wonderful things we have done.  We could ask for forgiveness of others and forgive ourselves.  Don't we have to do that currently anyway?  Don't we have to constantly ask for forgiveness from others and work to forgive ourselves when we do things that are not of 'God' in this lifetime?   So if it was Grace to forget all between lifetimes, then why isn't it Grace to forget things from moment to moment in this lifetime of the negative we did previously?

Do the insanes know the truth?  I believe so.  I believe they have not had to go through the amnesia process we have to go through between lifetimes.  I believe they are able to simply move their spirit from one human body to another when needed.   I believe they have been on Earth for thousands of years and have been controlling all at the 'top' (governments, presidents, etc).  I believe we have not ever seen one of their faces either.  I believe they control all behind the scenes.

Everything that has been written or we have been told in limited thinking is a form of them controlling us.  I saw the movie "A Brave New World" and wrote about that a couple of months ago.   It is about the control of the people through brainwashing them to be happy as they are and to remain slaves.

Understand too.... we have been taught language that limits us and we have been brainwashed with limited thinking.   We have been taught to say "I am only human" when we fail at something.   Well, guess what - You and I are NOT only human!  We  are not human bodies that have spirits/souls inhabiting it. We are spirit/souls inhabiting human bodies!  There is a big difference when you switch that around!

We are Souls and we all have the 'breath' of God within us!

I am not going to list the multitudes of books I have read.  Some of them have freaked me out and left me confused that were suppose to be truth.  One, not long ago said we are simply slaves that were stuck here and are destined to just keep going round and round (like a rat on a wheel) over and over again in lifetimes here on Earth.  That we are prisoners and Earth is the prison and there was no way out.   It said this has been going on for millions of years.   Well, this really pissed me off as you can imagine!

Freedom and Truth - those are my two mission words for myself and wriing on this blog!  FREEDOM for

All of US to know ourselves and Truth of all that is!  After reading that book, it instilled those two words in me, even stronger.

I know there is divine intervention in our lives.  I have experienced absolute miracles in my life, I should not be alive today.    Even knowing this, I have to say.... there are so many times I have just thought "Life on Earth is too hard to navigate"   I have felt this due to all the hate, anger, and division of the people, purposely caused by the insanes.  I have felt this when horrible things happen,  Japan, Fukushima, Haiti, Philippines, etc.   It hurts for people to be in such distress besides the Earth being in such distress and being poisoned and killed.  I can't help myself and I cry when it gets too overwhelming and sad.  There is so much pain happening in people's lives and the Earth. All those people in the Philippines right now are going through pain and distress in a way we can not even imagine.  How do we really help them?   What can we do?  The only thing I am able to do at this time is to radiate Love, Healing and Strength to them through my own energy.   Also to pray that God and all those of pure light help and protect them.  It makes me so sad.  Just as the sadness I feel for the Earth.  From being made toxic through Fukushima and Corexit in the Gulf.  The insanes are killing the planet through their Greed!  Due to them 'controlling' all aspects of our lives and not allowing us to have the Freedom of energy.  Think about it... both nuclear power and oil are both control mechanisms which do not have to be due to their being Free energy available to us all.   But they can't allow Free energy, as they would then not be able to control all aspects of our lives.

Being on the journey for Truth is hard and I don't want to have to do this every lifetime!  I don't want to have to try and figure out my "God' self and how we are ALL ONE!  It has taken me 51 years to get to this moment and I am still just at a one step forward.

I do know we should not hate one another.  No matter how much the insanes try and create a 'bad' guy in another race, religion, culture, etc.   We ARE ALL ONE!  Everyone of us is a soul of beauty, Grace, Love and Light inhabiting a body.

We are all taught different things through our culture.  But that does not mean those are truths.  Our cultures teach us, our beliefs that originally came from the insanes!   Think about it!  What better way to have control then to keep everyone separated so we all hate each other.  What better way to have people murder each other due to their religion etc,  so they created hate between us.

I sincerely pray that people see the Truth of it all!  See the God within everyone else and ourselves.  Feel the Peace and the Light of God.  Yes, that begins with me!  I struggle everyday with this.  No matter how much we talk, walking the walk is difficult!

I can say another thing.  Part of our limited thinking that we have been brainwashed with is believing it is good to struggle and be without.  It is good to be poor as God loves those people more.  BULLSHIT!

I can tell you.  There is a difference between money or having things have control over you compared to you having control over it!

It is GREAT to desire and HAVE Money in this lifetime.  When you have domain over money and you utilize it for your own growth, happiness, and helping others you are living with being able to be co creator with God.  You control the money.  Now... if money controlled one (as it does at all the banks, governments and corporations of the world) that is pure Greed as the top shows they have.

I have been working on positive thoughts and creation for a long time.  Yes, I have begun 'seeing' and feeling being a millionaire.  Not for the sake of just having money but to be able to do what I most desire (not want... because by saying want... you will always want... but desire/deserve are the words that should be used).  I desire and deserve FREEDOM!  Freedom in many varied ways!  Freedom in knowing Truth of myself and who we ALL ARE!  Freedom to see the Earth and the absolute glorious beauty of it.  Freedom to discover and uncover mysteries of it all!  I have had people try and tell me, desiring money is a bad thing and it is in the matrix of those who control!  What I say is it is what God wants us to have!  We are not here to suffer but we are here to overcome the suffering to learn to create the best for ourselves and others.  Yes, money is what has been the matrix of creation by the insanes, but we need to use their creation for our own benefit, as it is the world we are in at this time.  Using it, we also are able to overcome it.

I believe we ALL can have whatever our hearts and souls desire!  I don't believe any of us need to live in poverty or need!  We need to bring the God self up and create the world of which we all have the right to live in!  A world of plenty!  A world where no one is in need!  We all have that Right!  Together, we have all created what the world is right now though our energy.  That is because our feelings, thoughts and understandings have been corrupted by the insanes.  By them creating the division and hate we have the world how it is now.  It is a reflection of ourselves and our energy we put out everyday.   That is why they work on keeping us in Fear and they have many out there to do just that, who are suppose to be 'truth tellers."

If we could all use our energy in radiating LOVE to each other and seeing everyone feeling the Love and Light of truth of ourselves!  That is what I pray, radiate everyday.  For the truth of ourselves to come forth and for everyone to bring their Light and Love of their true selves to guide them.

Yes, I have also prayed in saying I release My will completely and have given over my life to "God's Will".  In doing that... I am still not giving over my life to something that is outside of myself.  But I have given over my life to God's Will which is the highest and perfect of all and thus my life is guided through Love and I live my life in the highest possible way.   Do I accomplish this every second?  No... but is my intention and constant energy put into releasing my will (ego) every moment so God's will guides my life and controls it?  Yes!   It is through our intention we begin to accomplish the God living of Truth!

Am I good at relaying my feelings and thoughts completely? No... I am sorry I am not.  But I am still trying to relate what I feel and understand as my truth.

I will be totally upfront... Here is my intention..... I desire to be free from ALL debt!  I desire to have 20 million dollars in my bank account!  Yes... that is a REAL desire and that is where I put energy into that being created for me!

What do I desire to do with that 20 million dollars... Well one thing is I desire this exploration boat.  Amazing it is named "Kindness to the World".   Yes, it is a few million dollars too.  It is not one of those super fancy yachts, but is is a solid boat in my opinion where I could go to the places I desire to go.  I desire to go to the Arctic, Chile/Andes, Antarctica, Easter Island and so on.  I desire to see the Earth and it's many places!  I desire to go to sacred/mysterious sites of the world.   I desire to have the money to be able to be able to take care of the boat and see the world.   Also I desire to use some of the money in creating FREE energy for the world.  In having true Free Energy systems be invented, so the people of the world have Freedom of Energy!  I desire to help others, family, friends etc in having some financial freedom!  I Desire FREEDOM!

I visualize myself living on Kindness to the World, I visualize myself moving on to it!  I visualize myself owning the boat.  How it will happen?  I don't know.  I trust it will!  I believe it will!  Somehow it will all be provided! Belief is the first step.

I believe it is possible!  I am not putting limits on how it will come to me!  I believe God/Universe is unlimited in abundance!  There is Nothing wrong with desiring the best in life!  There is nothing wrong with desiring something that may seem impossible!  It does NOT make someone evil or bad!  When we understand having the domain and control over something compared to it having domain or control over us.  This goes for everything in life.... from sex, drugs, drinking, etc.  Do we have control over those things... or do they have control over us?

When we have the intentions on living with God's Will in control... then nothing has control over us and we are able to live how God means for us to!  Love, Prosperity, Abundance and Light!

Thus is my understanding of money and desires!  Our desires are not bad when we have the control.  Would money rule my life?   Yes and No.... right now money rules all of our lives.  We have to have money to live on a normal basis.  It is the matrix that has been created and right now we are all within that matrix.  So... do we live with worry and strife everyday where it is controlling us through our thoughts, worries and fears?  OR do we become the controller over it?  Do we take the helm in our hands and begin steering our feelings, thoughts and fears into creating the highest and best so we control it?   But NO it would not have control over my life.  I would control it, I do not covert money for it's sake, but I will use it for my own self in growth.

There is such a huge difference!  I desire to control my life and all that is in it through God's will!  I desire to have all that I need to accomplish all that I desire.

I BELIEVE!  We all have to BELIEVE!  THROUGH BELIEF IT IS!  Through God's Will It IS!

When we take full responsibility for our lives and how it is... through our direct creation from our feelings and thoughts... then we can change our lives and our world!  We can help change other people's lives for the better!  

It  is not easy!  We have been brainwashed so badly by the insanes that we have to intently work on releasing the brainwashing and limited thoughts so our God Selves can come to the fore front and guide us!

GOD LOVES US ALL!  WE ARE ALL ONE!  WE ALL HAVE GOD'S BREATH WITHIN US!  WE ARE ALL CREATORS OF OUR WORLD!  WE CAN ALL CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF OUR OWN LIVES AND THE WORLD!  WE HAVE THE POWER!  THROUGH LOVE AND THROUGH THE ONE TRUE SOURCE OF PURE LIGHT OF GOD - WE CAN WALK!  

DO WE CHOOSE LOVE AND HAPPINESS OR DO WE CHOOSE LIMITED THOUGHTS THUS CONTROL OF A LOWER VIBRATION?  

WE ARE ALL VIBRATION.... WE ARE ALL ENERGY!   WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR ENERGY?

RELEASE THE FEAR!  EMBRACE THE LOVE!  EMBRACE THE ABUNDANT GOD UNIVERSE WHICH DESIRES TO PROVIDE US WITH THE RICHES OF THE UNIVERSE!  NO ONE SHOULD LIVE IN LACK, FEAR, SLAVERY OR WANT!  WE ALL HAVE THE GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO LIVE IN ABUNDANCE, PROSPERITY, LOVE AND HAPPINESS!  IT IS UP TO EACH OF US TO CLAIM WHAT IS OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT! 

I BELIEVE, I CLAIM!